Monday, 12 November 2012


We don't normally have Tropicana- but it is really lovely and refreshing to drink in the morning.

This was my initial thought today- and had to go and buy them just for the photo!!!! But it can also serve for Memories. They used to be my favourite childhood sweets and I've seen a lovely yellow mug that might have to come and join us at Christmas.

I've got to go back into work again tomorrow to take MORE tests and get signed off on opening accounts again. I haven't been paid for any of the overtime I've done recently- but making sure I claim anything else I do. They only pay us until 3.30 and I wasn't out until nearly 4 this Saturday. I need them to decide what they want to do with my contract. I was told I hadn't worked enough hours last year- which is why I haven't claimed even though they wrote it off. My sales targets go up if I claim overtime aswell- even if I was training and not on the counter! They changed the contract I initially agreed and the hours on the new contract are almost impossible to figure out. My new boss thought I was entitled to MORE holiday than I've claimed before because of my length of service

I spoke to the specialist college this afternoon and have an appointment on Wednesday. It sounds perfect for Emma- unfortunately the intake they tookin Sept are at full capacity until they leave in 3 years. So it's probably unlikely that they actually will place her. But they also are looking at getting a new venue- so I think I need to go and get my heart set on it and then hope it works out. I have phoned round a few more colleges to go and see them. I need one with a smaller campus that provides more supported learning. It is still churning me up inside. It's like filling out the disability forms again. The lady was asking about her behaviour and I was there making excuses and she said that if we get a social worker referral I have to again put a worse case scenario before them in order that the LEA will provide enough funding to pay for the extra hours. They only provide a certain amount of hours.

The funding for disability and education is a joke. If all the families coping with a disabled child decided that they just could not cope and that child had to be placed into residential care- it would cost an absolute fortune- but they don't put any funding into helping those families cope with sometimes very stressful situations. I really do not know what will happen with Emma if we don't find the right placement. I asked the connexions adviser today- and she said it would be possible for me to pull Emma out and then look at supported training venues.

But talking to the lady at this college- she was interested in Emma's disability and said she would be reassessed and there are devices that could be purchased for her- that would speak for her. I have bashed my head repeatedly against a brick wall to get Emma further speech therapy provision where she is- but because she is selective mute they refuse to provide further support. A speech and language therapist is supposed to provide communication support aswell- it is SOOOO frustrating to know that she needs more help but they won't fund it. I fought to get her more speech therapy- the provision is rubbish. The education pay for speech therapy provision- but that doesn't cover sickness cover. So if a speech therapist goes off sick or has a baby- there is no cover. Emma had a brilliant speech therapist at primary school- but she had 3 babies in 3 1/2 years- so she wasn't actually in school for that long with her maternity leave. I know it's wrong- but every time I got to see her and I could see she was having another little baby I'd be disappointed- rather than really happy for her!!!!!

But it just goes to show that if you happen to be in the right place at the right time- the support IS out there. You just need to know who you have to fight to get it. It really upsets me that in one short conversation with the college head/dean- I've learnt more about what Emma should have had been entitled to as a right as I have trying to sort it out from within the confines of a 'special school'. I feel like I've let Emma down.


  1. I am sure you do all what is possible for Emma, so don't think for a second you let her down. As you said, the system is horrendous. Remember you only can do your best ! Be nicer to your self. xxx

  2. You are having a tough time at the moment, I hope work gets sorted and you find the best college solution for Emma and your family x

  3. You have tried your best for Emma and that is all you can do. You haven't let her down, the system has.

  4. Kim I feel for you and know exactly where you are coming from having been in Special needs as SENCO for many years before I retired. Yes to get anything you have to paint the blackest of pictures which is so wrong. Hope you continue to fight for Emma's rights to get the best for her you can. You sound to be a wonderful and supportive Mum xxx
    SP and Lang is renowned in schools to be under funded and not very willing to work in schools along side staff, they prefer the parents and teachers to do all the work that they suggest but they are the I go you have started me off now!!!

  5. I am sure you have done everything you possibly could for Emma. The Authorities make things so hard, they don't give you advise and leave it to each individual to find out for themselves. It is good that the lady at the college is going to help you get the right help for Emma.

  6. Oh Kim, what a headache and how hard you have to work even to understand what you may be able to get, even before you fill out those awful forms. Don't scold yourself, ther should be more support even for the funding and things, imagine if you could not do them, be proud that you are still fighting, though I imagine it must be very tiring too xx